Wednesday, September 5, 2012

It's Gettin' Ugly

I haven't posted a blog in quite some time. Sorry about that but life has just been sooooo busy. I can't even tell you why, but man do I need a break. This week is no exception. My sister-in-law married her best friend last Saturday so now I have a brother! It was a great wedding and hubs and me are thrilled that she's found someone to keep her smiling. Most of you know that I didn't always have a great relationship with my hub's immediate family. It was pretty rough for a really long time. After we lost the baby things seemed to take a turn for the better. His mom texted me every day I was out of work just to check-in. It was a really nice gesture and one I appreciated more than she knows. After that, our relationship seemed to be on the mend. Sometimes emotional tragedy has a way of bringing people together and if something positive had to come from our loss I'm glad it was that. We may not be at 100% just yet but we'll get there. All things in time. Bottom line is, we had an awesome weekend with the family and look forward to many more. We're even planning a family vacation for next summer...who would've thunk it?!?!?

This week hasn't been easy. September 2nd was the one-year anniversary of our finding out that our peanut wasn't going to make it. This time last year I was in a daze. I spent this week crying and just going through the motions trying to survive. In 4 short days it'll be the one year anniversary of when we terminated the pregnancy. Ugh. Luckily I'll be spending the day with some of my besties; we'll be shopping for bridesmaid dresses and watching my bestie try on wedding dresses. That should keep my mind off of the horror that is and always will be September 9th.

So, just as emotional tragedy can often lead to mended relationships, it can also ruin them. Maybe it's just that I'm more emotional this week but I'm going nuts here. We're in the heart of our 2012 Presidential Election and it's getting ugly.. UGH! They say you shouldn't talk politics or religion with friends but no one listens. With Facebook, everyone is posting political messages, posters, links and quotes. I have a lot of "friends" who are Republicans. That's okay with me...in most cases! I enjoy a good debate and truly do respect people who are willing to stand up for what they believe. I think that our freedom to disagree is what makes being an American so great. I don't, however, like being offended or called names or shamed. The 2012 Republican platform centers around abortion. Of course, why wouldn't it? If you've read my blog or know me at all, you know that I am 100% pro-choice. (After everything that happened with our little peanut my commitment to preserving a woman's right to choose is even more important to me.) This issue, for me, is probably the most important of this year's election. I know that abortion is and always will be a touchy subject. People who engage in the debate, on either side, are passionate. Passionate is one thing; disrespectful is another.

As I said earlier, this election is getting ugly. It's bringing out anger in people and it's getting nasty. Lately, it's getting worse. I don't understand how anyone with a uterus could ever vote for Romney/Ryan but that's neither here nor there. Everyone has the right to vote for the candidate with whom they connect most. I respect anyone who is informed and exercises his right to vote. The RNC was last week and the DNC started last night; maybe that's what sparked all of this ugly. Who knows? What I do know is that I have seen sides of my "friends" that I both wish I never saw and that I appreciate seeing. Most Republicans are pro-life. Again, that's okay. Your political or personal position on abortion is a-okay with me. As I've said a million times before, we have the right to disagree about anything and everything. What's not okay with me is when you call me a baby killer. I saw a post on a friend's page last night. It was a political quote centered around the abortion debate on which some of his or her friends had commented. My "friend" wrote the words baby killer. Awesome, right? Side note: when I had my abortion last year this person supported me through it and said all the right things. Now I know it was fake and insincere. I was upset about it last night but now I'm over it. I don't have time to waste on ignorance; it's not worth it.

I have spent the last year sharing my story with hundreds of women/families that have faced similar situations. This blog has allowed me to heal in a way that I know I wouldn't have without it. I have felt so supported by so many unexpected people (yes, I'm talking about my Republican friends here) and can finally say I'm in a really good place. I will continue to share my story and support other women and families that are faced with tragedy. I will continue my fight for women's rights and will continue to hold my head up high. I will keep trying to open people's eyes to the "other side" of the abortion debate. The side that doesn't center around rape or unwanted pregnancy. I will continue to share with anyone willing to listen and will proudly cast my vote on November 6th for the man who is fighting for MY right to choose what I do with MY body.




8 comments:

  1. I'm glad I'm not the only one that has noticed how "ugly" this election has gotten. Is it just me, or are there more offensive Republican posters out there than ever before? I'm starting to feel personally attacked when I see comments such as "Annoy a liberal, use facts and logic." I, too, cannot understand how any woman would vote for Romney, but to each their own I guess. I continue to support your decision and will also vote for the person who allows me to make decisions about my own body.

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    1. It's crazy, isn't it? I don't mind the disagreements, just the disrespect. It's out of hand. Happy Voting!

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  2. Your friend might not have been insincere in supporting you as you made your terrible decision. What is surprising is that your friend could support you and not change his or her way of thinking about abortion. I have a friend who says he "doesn't know" if he's pro-choice or not, and yet he reached out to me when I was deciding and said, "you need to talk to my mom, she went through the same thing between my brother and me." It makes no sense to me. If our friends don't condemn our decision, then they are pro-choice. For some reason they can't admit it.

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    1. You're right, E. I think some people are just afraid to use the words "pro-choice" as they think think it equates to "pro-abortion." This is especially true during elections. Everyone is so afraid to be bipartisan because they're afraid someone will think they're going to vote for "the other guy." It's driving me nuts! The only thing keeping me sane is the beautiful comments and wonderful support I receive as a result of this blog. Thank you for reading!

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  3. Hi Amanda,
    I know you but I feel like I don't know you that well as we have only hung out a few times for a short time. I have been reading your blog for quite a while now and with every new post without fail I just fall more in love with you. The first time I read your blog Nathan was just a few weeks old and I literally sobbed for like an hour. Your words are so touching and you truly have a gift in the way you can write and express your feelings through such a difficult time in your life. You are such a beautiful strong person and I couldn't agree with you more. You should have every right when it comes to making decisions for your own body! Your strength is such an inspiration as I can't begin to imagine what you have been through this year. For anyone to judge you on the loss you have been through, it's just unspeakably awful to me. I have been wanting to post a comment here and tell you how freaking amazing I think you are and how proud I am to call you my friend. <3

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    1. Lisa, you are the sweetest! Thank you so much for your support. This post brought tears to my eyes. Nathan and our baby bean would've been born so close together. They for sure would've been buds. :)

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  4. Amanda, pro-life and anti-choice are not the same thing. One is a belief, the other is a fucking proclamation about what other people should do. I just think you're giving them too much credit.
    You're amazing. Keep fighting the good fight and sharing your journey and all. It's beautiful.

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    1. Thanks, Jess! It's a fight worth fighting and I'm in it to win it!

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