Do You!

I never considered myself to be someone who cared too much about what other people thought of me. I wouldn't conform to social "norms" and always followed whatever path I thought most appropriate for me. I'd say this is true from something as small as ignoring fashion trends and going for what's comfortable to not being afraid to stand up for what I believe to be right in a difficult situation. I would've told you I was independent and an individual and what others thought of me just didn't matter at all.

I was wrong. Very very wrong.

It wasn't until I went through some of the most difficult times of my life that I started to realize that I did in fact care about what other people thought of me. What a shocking revelation to have after the age 30! It was in coming through the darkest moments of my life that I realized I had been living for everyone else for a really long time.

I wouldn't say I did things to impact others' impression of me, but I did always strive to  put others first. I always came second. Whether it was in want or need, I would put anyone for whom I cared ahead of myself. I realized that decisions I made weren't always what I wanted and that I'd often "take one for the team" to make whomever happy. I would give up what I really wanted or needed just to bring a smile to someone else's face. I never minded doing it and I guess that's why I never thought of it as caring what others thought.

In being selfless for so long, it came as quite a shock to people when I finally put myself first and stood up for what I wanted. But, I knew what I was doing and I knew it was right for me. I truly didn't care what anyone else thought. The truth is, this is my life and I get to live it however I want. Whether that means making a million mistakes or doing everything "by the book," I get to decide what's right for me.

There are people who judged me for it for more harshly than I think is appropriate or even necessary. Does it make me upset? Everyday. Does it make me question my decision to stick to what I wanted? Never. Are there moments of pause when I wonder if I really did make the "right" decision? Of course. Are there times when I get sad and feel like life is a little more out of control than it had been? Absolutely. But then I step back and remind myself that it was right at that time and I have no regrets.

So, for anyone reading this that is afraid to finally stand up to the world and be true to yourself, I say DO IT and do it TODAY. It's not going to be easy. It's going to take courage and conviction. It might feel like you're losing control. It could hurt and you're definitely to going to cry. But DO IT. You deserve it. And, if it winds up that you're wrong and you are making a mistake, at least you tried and you should never regret that.

Been a Hot Minute

Hi there!

Soooooo, I haven't blogged in what feels like FOREVER. In the past few weeks I've had a few friends ask me why I stopped blogging. I have to say, it was special to hear people missed my words. This blog started as a therapeutic tool to help me heal. It has turned into so much more and I'm grateful to all of the wonderful friends I've met through the blog site. So, hopefully this is the first of many more consistent blogs. :) I'll try not to take so much time off between entries...

Well, this year started off pretty freaking crappy. We all know what happened in December (if you don't, read this entry) and that just pushed me deep down into a dark dark place. I wasn't in a good place and had a really tough time climbing my way out. I am happy to say I'm in a good place now. I wasn't sure how or if I'd pull through, but the strength of self is amazing and I made it.

This has been the greatest summer in a really really long time. I was able to get back into the Philly music scene and I'm THRILLED to be there. I didn't realize how much I missed the original music scene until I got back in! I've discovered a few "new" local bands and I'm loving it. I also got to spend some real quality time with ALL of my best friends....specifically those that live way too far for my liking. I spent July 4th with my Leighski and the family W and then went down to FL to see NessaBear and all of her girls. I got to meet her future hubby and helped Vanessa pick the most beautiful wedding dress. It was an honor to be there for that special day. I saw New Kids on the Block TWICE in two days and Donnie Wahlberg is now following me on Twitter. Yes, I died and still check it almost daily to make sure it wasn't a dream. (Are you on Twitter? Follow me at @Champagne37!) Hubby and I went on the most extraordinary vacation to Mexico to celebrate our 5th wedding anniversary and we're already planning a return visit. It was absolutely incredible and we cannot wait to be back there. You can check out my review of the resort here.

Oh, did I mention that I graduated with my Master's in April? Yeah, that happened too! Now I just need a J-O-B! Know anyone who may work for a company that's actually hiring? #toughoutthere

So anyway, thank you for your patience in waiting for my triumphant return to the blogging world. I'M BACK, BABY.

The Light

So one of my very best friends from high school recently found my blog. He and I hadn't been in touch for about 10 years and we reconnected a little over two months ago. It's always nice to reconnect with special people and it has been great catching up. Last week he read my blog for the first time and told me he thought it was dark. Not gonna lie... I was a little offended. I don't think it's dark; I think that it's honest. There are days when I feel dark and if my blog reflects that then so be it. Anyway, he recommended that I blog about all of the positive/good things in my life. While it's impossible to list everything that is good in my life, there are a few things for which I'm grateful EVERY SINGLE DAY. So, here goes:

• Hubby: I meant what I said on your birthday. You make it all okay and I couldn't do it without you. Thanks for choosing me for your forever. Love you. Love your show.
• Momma: You amaze me every day and have for the last 32 years. I only hope I can be half the mom to my child(ren) that you were to me. I am who I am (good and bad) because of you. (Well, except the OCD.)
• Sister: Twenty-one years and you're not sick of me; you deserve a medal. You are (always have been and always will be) my person. I love you always.
• My girls: They say our friends are the family we choose for ourselves. Thank you for choosing me and for always being there. The bonds that tie us are unbreakable and I'm thankful every day that I can call you my family.
• Jake & Sara: You are my heart and I couldn't love you more. Jake, thank you for ALWAYS making me smile. Sara, it has been way too long since we've seen each other but I love you every single day. I hope you both know that I will ALWAYS be here for you for anything that you need.
• My work family: Simply stated, I love you guys; you make my every day worth it. Thanks for all the laughs and love.
• My friends: I don't know what to say other than I FREAKING LOVE YOU.
• My GSC family: I am who I am because of you. Whether it's a week, a month, a year, or more, we're family and I cherish that always. My memories of our time(s) together fill my heart with such joy. I am thankful for every memory we made in our home away from home.
• Puppers: I know you can't read but you are my love. Your kisses make my bad days better and my good days great. Thanks for knowing exactly what I need and for being the best cuddle-bugger ever.
• The Internet: THANK YOU Al Gore (kidding!) for making it possible for me to stay connected to everyone. I love knowing that with just a click we can reconnect and check-in to let each other know we're thinking of the other. Let's try to do it in person more frequently.
• My former campers: Many of us are still in touch and some of you even read this blog. Please know how special you made my summers. I learned more from you in those years than I could ever have hoped to teach you. I am so proud of the young men and women you have become.
• New Kids on the Block: You have brought a smile to my face since 1988. You filled my childhood with love and excitement and taught me how to dance like no one is watching. Your reunion reminded me that dreams really can come true if you never give up. Thanks for making this only child one of a million sisters.  (Readers: you can make fun of me all you want for having them on my list. I'm dancing like no one is watching and I don't care.)
• Ellen: Thanks for proving that kindness and generosity are the most beautiful accessories we can wear. You inspire me every day.
• The little things: You matter so much and I'm thankful that I know that.
• The person who told me to write this blog: Thank you. You are very special to me and I love you.

(These are in no particular order by the way!)

With that, I'm going to sign off. This blog could wind up being a million words long because I'm that lucky. While the last two years have been a struggle for our family, I've never lost sight of the fact that I'm a pretty lucky lady. I have a great husband, an awesome mom, amazeballs friends, and a job that allows me to help people (almost) every day. Yes, some days are dark but that's okay because no day lasts forever.

An Introduction

Hi there and thanks for stopping by! I decided to begin this blog because well, I wanted to. It's as simple as that.

I've always enjoyed writing and have been looking for an outlet in which to dump my thoughts, feelings, reactions and emotions. This is it! This blog is really about me and how I see the world. It's not meant to solve anything nor is it meant as gospel. Too often in life we let others dictate how we view the world....not me.

2011 was a hellish year and I need somewhere to make sense of it all. I look forward to the journey of documenting My World According to Me and am glad you're along for the ride.